Rainy Season Rants

It has been a good 3 weeks of WET WET WET WET weather, the saddest season of a poooorrrr doggie's life! We hate rainy days (unless of course we're allowed to go to the fields still and roll in the mud to play! heehee!) [Mom: Drama queen! And heaven forbid! No muddy corgis in the house!] Therefore, I've been cooped up in the house, save for the occasional walks when the clouds hide....

Meanwhile, me saw this email in my inbox and think I shd share it with all of you, esp doggy-puppies cuz this is VERY VERY VERY impt to learn well. Heehee...


THE DOGGY DICTIONARY
LEASH: A strap which attached to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.
(Yuki: Something to chew secretly and quietly, especially at the 7-inch section frm your collar.)

DOG BED: Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.
(Yuki: Daddy's anthropology beanbag, heehee!)

DROOL: Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this properly, you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor or better yet, on their laps.
(Yuki: I do this VERY well!!! Must stare and don't blink!)

SNIFF: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to the other dog's rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times, or until your person makes you stop.

GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right, you are rewarded with maragrine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.

BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards. The person then swerves and falls into the bushes and yo prance away.

DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when their person want them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction or lying down.
(Mom: It occurs when the corgi goes frapping in the fields....haiz...)

THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Hoomans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly and following at their heels.

WASTEBASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes and old candy wrapper. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house until your person comes home.

SOFAS: Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating, it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.

BATH: This is a process by which the hoomans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.
(Yuki: I can't help it dat we corgis are WATERPROOF!!)

LEAN: Every good ACD's response to the command "Sit!", especially if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.

BUMP: The best way to get your hooman's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

GOOSE BUMP: A maneuver to use as a last resort when the Regular Bump doesn't get the attention you require....especially effective when combined with The Sniff. See above.

LOVE: Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to way your tail. If you're lucky, a hooman will love you in return.


Do you doggies do any of the abv? Anyways, no peektures to illustrate cuz mommy's been reeeeaaal LAZY!! Bleah!